One thing that will happen when you become a mama is that everyone will become a critic. Everyone and their pet dog will give you opinions about what you are doing, what you should be doing, what their friend’s friend does, AND even the dog next door with her puppies does it too! You get my drift, but seriously. You will hear it all.
Now, being a recovering perfectionist, it was hard for me in the beginning to hear everyone’s opinions about my baby. It’s really a simple equation. Unwanted opinions plus a mixture of raging hormones from just giving birth equals an extremely lethal combination. If anorexia was still with me, I would have gone into a tailspin of terrible thoughts ranging from you are the worst mom ever to you are a complete failure at everything you do. This isn’t dramatic either; these are common destructive thought patterns for an anorexic, that is, until the brain is unwired to be FULL through recovery.
Now, this is how you should handle these unwanted opinions, at least what has helped me, if you are sensitive to criticism like myself and have a hard time dealing with the constant chatter in your ear—especially if you are still a recovering-FULL or a recovered-FULL mama. Even recovered-FULL mama’s still have perfectionist tendencies.
Realize the saying opinions are like a**holes, everyone has one, has never been truer…
Look, every person is different. Every baby is different (they are little people with varying personalities much like us) and what works for one baby and mama duo may not work for another duo. That being said, take what people say with a grain of salt and do what works for you. Know, that everyone has an opinion, especially when it comes to raising babies. There are millions of mothers out there and you are bound to run into one that wants to share their expert mama stance with you along the way (because it worked for them, doesn’t mean it will work for YOU). Just politely nod yes, say thanks, and do whatever the fudge you want, DAMMIT #$@&%*! Take everyone’s opinions combined with your own instincts and make motherhood completely your own.
Every experience in motherhood is that, like recovery, FULLY your own. Remember that.
Unless you asked for the advice, then that’s a whole different scenario. Trust your instincts, you know your baby best. If there is a doubt about that, that is just anorexia rudely knocking it’s unkind fists at your front door like the big bad wolf it is.
Just do what the third little pig did. Build your house out of durable brick, instead of out of flimsy straw and sticks respectively, and the big bad wolf won’t be able to penetrate you. You know what works for you mama–trust your instincts FULLy…